The Power of Forgiveness

Tyler Perry was ready to give up on his dream. For years, he had poured his passion and money into performances of his first play, I Know I've Been Changed, always hoping that this would be the one that drew a crowd.

But "every time I would go out to do the show, it would fail," says Perry, 39, the now highly successful author, director, producer and star of the new movie Madea Goes to Jail (opening February 20).

"I would go to my boss and say, 'I need time off to do the show.' And they'd say no. I'd go to my desk, I'd sit and I'd pray. God would say, 'Leave. Quit.' I'd hear the voice as clear as day. I would leave, do the shows, and they would not work. I'd pray again: 'God, where are you? You told me to leave.' And I wouldn't hear a thing."

But he stuck with the play because he knew he was on to something. "The work was about adult survivors of child abuse and how one character confronted their abuser and went on to have a better life," says Perry.

As a child, he himself had endured years of physical and emotional abuse by his father, who was prone to violent outbursts, especially when he drank. But unlike his onstage character, Perry had not yet confronted his own abuser. The message of being changed by forgiveness was there, but the play failed because the man reciting the lines had not yet felt it himself.

It took a few years for him to get there. Back in 1992, Perry saw an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show in which she recommended writing as a form of healing. At that point in his life, he had never written about his abuse but decided to give it a try. He wrote a series of letters—using "different characters' names, because if anyone found it, I didn't want them to know it was me." Those letters eventually became I Know I've Been Changed. For the next six years, he performed the play, but it didn't become a success until after he—like his character—confronted his abuser.

In 1998 "I had an argument with my father," explains Perry, "I was screaming and yelling and using every four-letter word in the book; I was 28 years old and as profane as I could be. But I got an opportunity to have my catharsis on the phone. After it was over, I was empty, and I went on this journey to find out what was ripped away. And of course any journey for me is going to begin with faith, begin with God. I didn't pray immediately, because I was angry with God, angry with everybody. But remembering everything I had learned in church really helped me to get through that anger.