The Healing

I have not read "The Shack", but have read the comments. I am having trouble identifying with the idea that God sees us as sinners. I am in the process of reading "A Course In Miracles" which is an insight into the role of Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit in our lives. It talks about atonement and knowing that we are all the "Son of God". Jesus is our brother and we are all brothers. It talks about attacking others as attacking ourselves. Maybe you would like to take a look at this book. It is not an easy read. But, it is insightful.

I have read "The Shack" twice. Once on a retreat with 5 other women, then in my bible study meeting with 4 other couples. Even though I knew the book was not a "real" story, I could see that this man wrote from his heart a great TRUTH! Like this man, I had a mostly painful childhood and teenhood. I did many things during the course of my life that today I would consider shameful, but at the time, it was a matter of survival. And yes, I hated myself for a long time, but unknown to me at that time, I had a most precious Father who didn't protect me from painful or shameful events, but always, in the end, He would gently guide me away from those situations. When I look back, I can see the Lord's love and patience as He walked me through life. At that time I felt totally alone and scared, wondering where my next meal would come from and where I would lay my head at night.
Today, I am a completely different person. Slowly, very slowly, God has taught me how to live-- truly live. I don't shut my past out because God was a part of it, even though I didn't know it at the time. I look back at the difficult, scary times, and am able today to see the work God was doing on me. It is a true miracle that I CAN see God's hand in my growing up years. Like Paul Young, I wrote of my life--in prose, in poetry, in songs. And eventually, the pain went away, and my eyes opened to a much more peaceful life. I wrote for several years, then as suddenly as it began, it stopped. But that's okay. I did what I truly believe God wanted me to do--to pour my heart out in some form to release myself from the memories. Now those memories are no longer painful, but actually joyful, just realizing how far God has brought me in this life. I am thankful for Paul Young's book (and for the article in your publication) because it reminds me of myself, and how even through our darkest hours, all is NOT lost.

I read The Shack during the most emotionally trying time of my life - last year when my father was dying of cancer. My uncle, daddy's older brother, gave me the book, asked me to read it and asked me to share its message with my father. There are no words to express the message the book spoke to my heart!! I could feel God's presence, could feel His comfort, could hear His voice throughout... Because of that book, my father and I had conversations about life, love, God, faith, family and our roles as father and daughter that we probably would never have had otherwise. I was given the opportunity to fully understand the love of God, MY HEAVENLY FATHER, as I cared for and let go of Daddy, MY EARTHLY FATHER! Because of The Shack, I am certain that my two Fathers are together now and I am also certain I want nothing more than to join them, in my time! Until that time - I still have work to do here.
Since reading The Shack I have adopted a "pay it forward" approach to the book. The copy that was given to me was passed on to another family member whose life was equally changed by the experience - She too passed it on to someone who needed to hear the voice of God in its message! I've given many copies as gifts to people I've felt needed the message of God's love.
Reading the article above only confirms my belief that God chooses people to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of their lives and glorify Him! To judge this man because of the pain he has endured in his life, or even pain he has caused, is wrong! He and his family are on their own journey with God - and if we have time to judge his life or his actions, then we need to turn that judgemental eye towards our own lives!
I firmly believe that Mr. Young was a vessel for a message from God! HIS message to me may not be the same one delivered to you through this book, but I firmly believe in the power of God to use any means possible, to include works of fiction, to reach out and touch a life! After all, that is exactly how God chose to reach my father and I. Thank you, Mr. Young for delivering His message!

I have not yet read the book, however after reading some of the comments, I was reminded of what a friend from another country once told me: People judge infidelity more harshly than most sins, when in fact is a smaller sin than MANY others.
Let that sin be betwen a man & his wife and God. It involves no others.

I was amazed at the judgmental comments so many people made about Mr. Young. Many people misunderstood his explanation of 11 years of healing, assuming that he was still "sinning." Some considered him "dangerous" to be around youth! They really have missed the point of the book and, in my opinion, Jesus's teachings in general. Jesus forgave people their sins. He told them to go and sin no more. Not once did he remind a sinner they would be held to account for their sins. Can you imagine him saying that to the woman caught in adultery?! No! He said that he did not condemn her.
Jesus died for our sins, to forgive our sins. Yes, one day we will look over our past lives with God and see our lives as they really were, good and bad. But WE ARE FORGIVEN! Why else did Jesus suffer and die? Was it in vain? I think not.
This book is about pain and sin and forgiveness. It is about the fact that there are no easy answers. But the bottom line is that we worship a loving, mighty God who sent us a Saviour who rescued us from ourselves and our failures, and there is a Spirit who brings us comfort when we cannot understand what has happened in this crazy world.
Let God be the judge if and when he will, not us.

Well...I'm not sure if I want to read the rest of this book or not; I had been hearing about it and, then, was given a copy. My husband and I started it, didn't get back to it because of our schedule. Now, after reading all of the posts, I'm not sure if I want to read the rest of it or not. I have never been much into reading fiction, and I have trouble with other peoples' viewpoints. I, too, gagged everytime I saw Clinton, and the same with Obama.

As the oldest of seven, I had a father who, almost every day after work, stopped off at the bar, drank, played cards, while mom did all the work of raising us, even when she finished her degree and taught 2nd grade. It was in a cold, winter climate, with no dryer. I remember taking down bedsheets and towels frozen stiff from the clothesline, hanging them around the house to dry. We shared one bathroom, no dishwasher but us. When returning from babysitting or a date, I would often find her sitting in the dark by a window, alone. I asked her why she didn't just leave him; she would always say that it would not be good for us kids and would always assure me that he told her that he loved her every night. RIGHT! Then, at only 45 yrs old, she had a cancer that, very quickly, moved up her spine and killed her.

Dad had the nerve to say, "Why would a so called loving God take a man's wife and leave him lonely?" Again... RIGHT!
All three of my brothers drank, had messed up marriages, etc. My sisters each married with not very good judgement, and, seemingly, to get out. My getting away was to college, then, thankfully, married an outstanding man, who is the father of our six children and 17 grandchildren.

It is God's love that gave us a free will - we are not puppets; it is God's love that forgives - He is sovereign. I look forward to the day when I see what He means in Rom. 8, that "He works all things for good...for those who love Him." We each have to accept his love and forgiveness and work out our days with His Grace.
I think that I will stick with the Bible for my reading entertainment.

Well, I realize that most of these comments were posted a while back, but I just now joined. I have to say that I have not read the entire book. I read the preface, and then my husband picked it up. Since I was focusing on finishing a rather in depth Beth Moore study, and he was, after all, the one who ordered it in the first place, I decided I should finish what I started while he read the book. But all the debate has sparked my interest , so I am going to have to pick it up and form my own opinion of the book itself.
So, here I will limit myself to comments on the article. My heart goes out to each of you who have shared your own struggle through abuses, and I can assure you that my own life has not been abuse free, by any means.
I am finding that often, my gut response to something is a pretty accurate reflection of where I am in the healing process of my own trauma.
I confess that as the Lord began the process of opening the wound, so as to heal it fully, I faced difficulty in reading many of the very familiar Bible stories I learned as a child. David, in particular. Reknowned for being "a man after God's own heart", David was not just guilty of adultry, as Mr. Young himself confessed to, but the King our Savior descended from was also a murderer. Killing not just any man, but a loyal friend who had supported David in previous chapters-- simply to hide his own sin. Oh... that one hurt! As I worked through my own pain, my own grief, I could not help but wonder how his actions caused the others involved to suffer. It is one thing for flesh and blood to fail us, but when those Bible figures we place on the pedestal are suddenly seen as the sinners they truly were... well I had to sit stunned for a moment, while I tried to recuperate.
You see, what I read in that particular scripture reminded me a whole lot of my own injury. I responded to David's actions out of where I was with my own pain.
And it is true also of this story of Mr. Young. I am in a very different place in my healing process (it has been several years now that the Lord has been gentle with me), yet I now recognize that the process of healing the trauma I endured is a journey.
The Lord often allows things to remind me of the deep down, quite hidden wounded places He longs to heal. And to move me further along in the process of healing those wounds He is already working on. The Lord is so good and gentle, and He does not push me through just to get the healing done. Oh, such love as I have known in Him!
To those who reacted strongly to this story, as I did with that particular story of David's sin, I suspect that the Lord may have brought you down the road towards your own place of healing, but that the healing process has not yet been complete.
We are all "in process", after all. And the journey looks different for each of us. The opportunity we have when we feel anger towards those that hurt others is to look inward and say, "Father God, show me where-- or what-- this anger, this hurt, is stemming from." We can examine what exactly we are feeling and why we are feeling it. What has happened in our life experience that causes us to react strongly to the story of another?
These emotions are not a bad thing, not a wrong response by any means. That strong reaction is a gift. An opportunity to meet the Lord in the place of healing.
Laura--what a beautiful name, meaning, crown... symbolizing the honor and victory that He will give you through the blood of Jesus.
And the Martin family 65...
To both of you, and many of the others who have posted...
I would love to sit and share about where we each are in our journey towards wholeness.
I have found that when I meet Him at the altar with all my emotion, all my anger, all my unknowns, all my pain... I find such healing. Such love. No condemnation, only acceptance.

To all of you who have poured out your hearts, Thank you. I have so enjoyed reading about your experience of His grace.
I've been so encouraged by your wonderful experiences with the heart of the Father God who loves us so much. What a joy it will be when we meet our Savior face to face for then His work in each of us will be... Perfect.
Until then, each us have the gift of walking closer to that completeness each day. We have assurance that while we remain imperfect in this often painful world, we have the gift of moving towards greater wholeness, greater healing, on the journey. Every sin (even David's, not to mention my own) is covered by His blood. Praise the Lord for His indescribable grace!
We do not have to be perfect-- and we can't be perfect, as so many of you referred to-- because we are simply flawed in our flesh, as the apostle Paul wrote about. But we do not have to attain perfection, because He already was perfection for us. He IS our gift. He is our Sustainer. He is Jehovah Raffa, our Healer.
Blessings to each of you on your own unique and very personal journey. May you grow ever closer to His heart!

I am instructed in James to confess my sins freely one to another. Conversely, I've learned that it benefits me not a whit to confess anyone elses sins. This has been a long slow process that I am daily doing my best at. If I could've done better yesterday I would have. I seek to conform my will to God's with more success as a rule the longer I practice. Every second I focus on the actions of another I am wasting just that much time reviewing the one person I have a shot at changing; immature, grandiose, oversensitive me.

I wasn't interested in reading The Shack until it was assigned to be read before attending the Iowa Five-Day Academy for Spiritual Formation: "The Many Names of God", here a week or so ago. WOW!!
Then while at the Academy, the issue of Guideposts that had Wm. Paul Young's story in it was passed around. WOW!!! I couldn't believe the parallels between his life and mine. Now I'm reading two more books regarding The Shack, both entitled "Finding God in the Shack" - one by Randal Rauser, the other by Roger E. Olson. I was amazed by Young's insight and theology - I think it helped me to articulate my own thoughts about God. It also helped me to continue to deal with the molestation I went through when I was a child. My responses and defense mechanisms thoughout my life have been much like Young's. Yes, I even had an affair - years ago in my 20s. Reading Mr. Young's story was like a lightbulb coming on - " THAT's why I behaved that way!" It's been amazing.
But I love the way he characterized the Trinity: God-Elousia-"Papa" / Son-Jesus-Yeshua-Joshua-"even Jesse" / Holy Spirit-Sarayu. And Wisdom personified was pretty cool, too!
I believe Mr. Young has done a very good job of articulating a very well-thought out and practical theology. Who'd have thought to find that in a novel! I'm thankful his story - both his personal story and The Shack - has been shared with us. Hearing about "Victorious Christian Living" is good - but it's also a blessing to hear about people's "Dark Night of the Soul"-struggles - it helps us realize that others struggle just as I may struggle. It also helps illustrate God's all-encompassing love and the power and possibility of redemption.

When my 4 year old son was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy (we're waiting on the results of what type), well meaning people told me "God doesn't give you more than you can handle". I was thinking Really?? so you think God gave MD to me, my son, because I, we, can handle it better than you??? I was really struggling with that. In The Shack, the God "character" said, "just because I make something good come out of a tragedy doesn't mean I orchestrated the tragedy." That message really spoke to me. For me the book reinforced many ideas I had about my God and helped me make sense of things I was struggling with. For me this book along with my faith and the support of my family and friends helped me to see the positive in a tragic situation. That is helping me keep it together.

About the time I was born my father who was a pastor became mentally ill at age 30 and eventually died at age 33 from the treatment(many years ago). What I remember is the tremendous anger my mother carried that got directed at us kids. I would cry in my bedroom while she would cry in hers. This affects my actions and feelings as an adult. I have been healed from the anger but still have to ask for help with other emotions. By the grace of God I have been protected from making many foolish decisions, but I think we are tempted to do foolish things to stop the pain. Those who have not had this abuse will not understand his actions. But those of us who have are eternally greatfull to him for discussing it. I've had so many prayers answered by the Lord in so many ways to make my life possible and after many years I have a good relationship with my mother . I completely understand Paul Young and aplaud his sharing. It is so helpful.

Most of you will not like this...
-and that's okay, but I'm going to say it anyway. I find it interesting that those who say" He who is without sin, cast the first stone" and then go on to attack someone else! I certainly never pretended to be without sin, quite the opposite.
I encounter a lot of Christians who, when the truth is pointed out, take offense to it. Why IS that?
I think part of it has to do with the watered down "politically correct" version of Jesus that seems to be so popular these days. Many of us like to see Jesus with the lamb and embrace the "warm fuzzy" side of him. It would be convenient to think that that is all there is...love, joy, peace patience kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Although the Bible teaches us that these are good things to possess, only allowing yourself to see the "warm fuzzy" side of Christ to me is dangerous. God and Jesus DO have a warrior side to them. This is the side that hates lies, hates lukewarm Christianity, hates injustice. Many of us (inlcuding myself) would like to forget that we serve a God who gives us free will, but also gives us consequences for poor choices.
I , too, have read this book, and although at first it seems to be a beautiful story. It is easy to forget, though, that the picture presented by the author (in my opinion) is not only an incomplete picture of who God really is, it is also inaccurate.
I am thankful that I serve a God who loves grace and mercy. But I am only kidding myself and lying to myself if I don't believe that I will someday have to give an account for all my sins. Additionally, if I don't respect the correction that God gives me through consequences for my choices and in doing so turn from Him, then it is I who am leading myself on a path straight to Hell.
We as Christians must be willing to hear the truth, no matter how harsh it may be. God didn't hold his tongue (yes, he even uses the word "STUPID") and I don't think we should, either.

I heard about The Shack on the radio shortly before Christmas and the next time I was shopping I picked up a copy for myself, my son, my dad and my brother-in-law. The next day, I found my mom had already bought one for her and my dad, my sister and my niece each had their own copies and I was seriously behind. I read it on the beach in Cancun and a friend watching me told me he'd NEVER read a book he thought was so inspirational. He had bought many and given them away to friends. He could tell by whether I was laughing or crying where I was in the book. Now I have also bought books for others to "pass it forward". It's a book I think everyone should read several times--at least every year. It epitomizes the way everyone should see God and helps us to learn to have that kind of relationship with God. Thanks Paul Young for putting this beautiful story in writing.

I loved the book...splendid reading and I second and applaud the post of:

Wow, i can hardly believe
Submitted by beabeloved on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 11:24.

Everyone I've ever met, with few exceptions, have had a troubled childhood in one way or another, including myself. I experienced violence as a child but I've never used that as an excuse for any of my adult behavior that was less than righteous. I get really tired of hearing people wave away their infidelity because of their childhood and I get tired of reading about all the suffering wives who endure these cheaters. I also get really tired of hearing people say, "judge not lest you be judged" blah, blah, blah ....how about "accountability"?? Where is the accountability of these weak individuals? And how can anyone betray her friend (or his friend) by taking up with their friend's spouse? These are things I will never understand and frankly, I'm tired of hearing about all these men (especially) who can't seem to control themselves. They bore me and so do their long suffering wives. Make people accountable for their actions and then, maybe we will see some results.

I teach a course titled "Women and Spirituality" as a volunteer at a nearby federal secure women's facility. The course begins with a reading and discussion of "The Shack," a perfect book for the hurting. I'm not allowed to give the women anything to keep, but after the first class, they asked if I would donate a number of copies to the Resource Center so they could have book discussions. I did. The women also lend the books to their "bunkies" and/or friends. For women who grew up abused, who have low self-esteem, who have trouble believing that God could love them, who are full of anger or hatred for persons who have wronged them, or who are having trouble forgiving themselves, "The Shack" has been a wonderful springboard to discussion of God's love for all, as well as the importance of loving oneself and forgiving both oneself and others so they can move on. I am so thankful that Paul Young allowed that small "seed" to grow instead of taking his life. I was thrilled to see a bit of his story in Guideposts this month, and will be giving copies of it to the new class, likely after they've read "The Shack" and we've discussed it a bit. I think his story will be of further encouragement to the women, some of whom have had incredible amounts of pain in their lives.

Dear Martinfamily65,
I, too, was horribly abused as a child and as an adult, by a spouse. I’ve been healed for nearly 20 years from that traumatic time, by the grace of God, and today only remember those actions as a memory with no pain attached.

I understand the sentiment behind your words, but I think you are missing the point. No one is applauding the sin, and just about everyone is against judging another’s sins when we are guilty of our own (and there are no levels of sin--sin is sin, and we all sin). What is celebrated here is the knowledge that if we confess our sins one to another, we will be forgiven. Forgiveness by the Lord restores relationship with Him, and a happy consequence of this can be a rebuilding of a relationship with those we’ve hurt.

A lot of people have the idea that forgiving someone who has hurt them, especially in the realm of abuse, somehow makes their abuse all right…no big deal. That’s not it at all. Forgiveness lightens the baggage WE acquired during the abuse (anger, bitterness, hatred, etc) and makes room for healing. The Lord will deal appropriately with the one who hurt us, but His plans for us continue on a separate track and He needs a clear road to guide us. Forgiveness builds that road.

Because the Lord loves the hurter, too (and died for His sins) He will also work to heal them.

Today, because I allowed the Lord to heal me, I am free of abuse baggage, am married to a wonderful man, have a good relationship with my ex-husband, and when my parents were alive, I was able to honor them as God commands. This is the magnificent message of Mr. Young’s life story—that there is hope for any sinner for forgiveness, restoration, and fruit, in spite of our failings. All glory to God!

I personally, enjoyed and was inspired by Mr. Young's sharing of his experience. For those who are quick to "throw stones" at him and how they perceive he should have handled things differently in his life, I would suggest that they take the time to read Matthew 7 (KJV)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

As Romans 3:23 tells us "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." None among us, have the ability to boast that another's sin is worse than ours.

I had heard negative attitudes about The Shack before I read it but read it for myself. I found the story entered into my life to encourage and refresh my walk with the Lord. I was not confused and understood the beginning approach was not implying that the story was actual. The Bible is full of flawed characters so real. It is the most important factor is helping me forgive myself and seeing how much God loves me. He loved David (a man after God's heart) even though he was a murderous adulterer. I could name so many. I judge others with my sin standing between me and them which removes all my ability to judge them. I appreciate someone willing to be as transparent as Mr. Young in your article--it gives us all hope that character is not living perfectly, but rather how you handle the wrongs you do. This man has shown what character is really about. I wish we could see it more often. Thank you for adding the depth of this man's life to my enrichment from reading his book.

Paul Young's book, "The Shack", was amazing to me. I was astounded someone could understand the heart of God like he did and write such a beautiful story. God touched this man's heart and he shared God's touch with others. I appreciate immensely the love that poured through the power of those words. His broken life is no different than any one of millions of us...and God just keeps on loving and loving and loving and loving. What an amazing storyteller - our Creator! He is the author, our lives are his writing instruments, and the grace He pours all over us are a reminder that His purpose is to love us intimately and intensely each and every day. We are blessed!

Without wading into the fray of this fascinating string of comments, let me thank all of you for contributing to the discussion and its general tenor of civility, and for being such great Guideposts readers. -EG

If Guideposts Magazine only published stories of those who have found God's guidance through "acceptable sins" (what are those, anyway?) that don't make anyone uncomfortable, I venture to say this publication (which I have been reading since I was a kid...oh, 30 plus years) would not be the incredible magazine that it is. How on earth are those of us who have committed atrocities and found our way to wholeness supposed to inspire others who need hope? Are we, as children of God, called to only speak what doesn't offend? Are we to change our life stories so that they read better...or less offensively? Finally--are we not allowed forgiveness just like every child of God?

Paul Young's book was a breath of fresh (if not a tad difficult to breathe at first) air. Furthermore, I found his treatment of the Trinity to be enlightening and actually life-altering.

I applaud this man's willingness to share openly. The fact that the book is a best seller, and Paul Young may be profiting wildly--don't care, doesn't matter, none of my business. He's probably too humble to talk about the philanthropic pursuits he is able to enjoy now that he has a little more to share...

I can't remember when I have enjoyed a book more. I almost put it down when I read what the story was about. I am certainly glad that I picked it back up and found that I couldn't put it down until I had finished. It's a life changing analysis of our personal relationship with God. Thank you so very much!

For those who want to attack my Christianity, use verses from the Bible to support their arguments, or to hold me up to ridicule, I need to say a few things:
1) I made observations and comments taken directly from Mr. Young's own words. While that may anger some, please keep in mind that it was not me who committed those acts nor was it me who put those acts into print. As Christians, we are supposed to love the truth. It has been my experience, though, that most of us usually only like the truth-- if it supports our position or argument. Mr. Young has apparently spoken the truth, yet because he sought forgiveness, somehow that makes the original sin okay? That appears to be what many of you are saying.

2) I grew up being abused physically and emotionally. There were times that I wished the perpetrator of that abuse dead. But there was something inside my that drew me to closer to God with every day that went by... and this went on from age 7 or 8 until I was fifteen. I was thankful and joyful when the perpetrator also appeared to have come into a relationship with Jesus. That being said, it still did not erase the years of abuse that I had suffered at the hands of this man, nor would I feel that it would be fitting to print his story here in the pages of Guideposts.

3) I have been privileged to have been able to lend support to youth who have been abused mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually and one of the things that comes up again and again is that there are inevitably people who rush in to defend the abuser's actions, no matter how heinous. It's really quite disturbing. Many people don't realize that by rushing in to defend an abuser, that they are, in many cases, enabling that abuser to continue their abuse while the children continue to suffer.
I'm not saying that Mr. Young is guilty of any abuse other than the power of his position at the time he met his wife...and the emotional trauma brought on by his cheating. So it is still my contention that his original actions were reprehensible. Am I glad that there was healing in his case? Absolutely. I still don't believe, though, that THIS story belongs in the pages of Guideposts.

I can't say that reading Mr. Young's book had a transformative effect on me. It did affirm and gave me some wonderful images to express something I already knew but had never tried to express. It is his personal story and the subsequent comments which have given me the oportuniy to pause and contemplate what I am involved with when I call myself a 'Christian.' We all judge yet we all are sinners. 'The Shack' is a story of redemption, just like my story and the stories of countless others through the ages. Only by recognizing how profoundly lost I have been that I get to experience and know deeply why Jesus' message is called 'the Good News' Indeed, what better news to a lost soul than being sought, found and loved. I am very grateful for Mr. Young's determination to share his experience of redemption, both through fiction and personal testimony.

To those of you who so easily picked up the stones and judged Mr. Young, I feel sorry and pray for you. You know not his sins or the depth of his remorse. Only God can judge and forgive. My heart aches when I hear so-called Christians use scripture to justify their own lack of Christ's love. Who is any one of us to make judgment on another? When we do, are we not betraying everything Jesus taught? Are we not hurting Him and His work? Are we not denying His unconditional Love?
I am not perfect. Are you? I have sinned; I have struggled against what I knew was right; I have called out to God in anger and pain. I have thrown my rotting apples. I have judged when I had no right.
But I, too, had a "shack" experience and I return to it when I have a special need. I thank God every day for I have been forgiven and healed by His Grace. I know I have been forgiven because I am alive today. Most importantly, I know that when I finally cross over and meet God face-to-face, He will welcome me with open arms - not because of what I have done, but because of what Christ did - for me, for you, for Mr Young. I have been blessed and I know whatever this life brings, I will continue to be blessed.
To you, Mr. Young, thank you for your book. Thank you for sharing your experience and the gift God gave you. Thank you for opening yourself up to both criticism and praise so that others may see God at work in our lives. Your book reveals the wonders of God and how He can touch each of us personally if we only let Him. I am so glad there are no limits to our God and the wonders that await us.
Blessing to you all. JB

Ms. LauraMcGaffey,
I can tell you must be a detail-person. Which is great. As long as you don't forget that God is about the bigger picture too. Here is the story o f a man who is sharing his story, not to glorify evil or sin, but to share his journey and how God can be glorified!

I never read anything where he said it was okay that he had an affair, he never says it was ethical to pursue a college student in his ministry, he never said he should be excused because of his childhood-abuse.

The story I read was of a man sharing how his childhood led him to the place where this story began, nearly destroying his marriage. We ALL make choices based on our experience, good and bad. The focus here was not on the gory details of the affair nor on the "other addictions" he refers to. The FOCUS was on how God used Young's own sin to peel back the scabs he had built up over the hurts from his childhood so he could heal for real (unfortunately his choices hurt the ones he loved the most, which he doesn't try to smooth over or cover up, in this story or The Shack). I LOVE how God will re-open a wound in order to heal it correctly. It's terribly painful, but it's beautiful at the same time. Because that's how God loves you and me.

Now, certainly, we must take everything from people with a grain of salt. Only the Lord knows the heart. And God certainly gave us discernment to help protect us from harm or being misled. But we are to HOPE for the best in people.

Finally, when he began reaching out to his wife, after ultimate betrayal, the only thing he could do was be completely honest to the depth of soul. He had lost her trust through lies and deceit and the only way to combat that is to come in the opposite spirit. That builds trust and accountability and brings everything completely in the light so there is never room for the enemy to get a foothold ever again. (And God bless his wife.)

I have often heard it said that when someone's behavior truly angers you, look deep into your own heart, as often it reflects something we hate about ourselves.

Grace to you, Ms. LauraMcGaffey...

I am in utter amazement that people who claim to wear the name of Christ can be so unlike Him in their judgments of others. To Laura and the MartinFamily65: it is obvious that you have never had to have had the unbelievable grace of God poured out in your lives. If you did, your cruel un-Jesus remarks and judgments would never have been written down. I just pray that when the time comes when you DO, that God does not render unto you as you have rendered unto this man. You have not walked in his shoes nor can you know his heart, despite what you think you are viewing as "fruits". If you don't believe me try reading Matthew 7:1-2!

I pray for those of you who have chosen to sit in judgement on this man. I will also pray that God desn't choose to use the same nasty measure to judge you and sins that are in your life. He would be within his rights to do so according to His own word. If you haven't experienced what he has gone through, you have no room to judge him. Also, if you have gone through that type of torment and abuse, it could partially excuse your hateful attitude towards the author.

God can and will be anyone He chooses in order to impact our lives. If He can speak through a donkey and use a burning bush to get our attention He can certainly appear as PaPa and the beautiful type of the Holy Spirit who is comforting and beautiful as well as wise. The Shack is a phenomenal book and a wonderful, gentle story of God's healing touch and use of circumstance to bring someone to Himself.

God bless you as you continue to heal and grow in grace and knowledge of Him, Paul. Thank you for this beautiful book.

Is eleven years beyond the max which God allows? How many years of error had Paul walked as Saul? How old was Noah after the flood & his big drunk? How many years as a tax collector for Nicodemus? How many years had the prodigal son acquired as a wayward son; what time counted counted against him: the time he was gone from his father's home or does the time before in thought about his wayward thoughts count? So what did Jesus say to another in crucifixion, "You've more than maxed your years of error" or "Truly, I tell you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise?" What are the magic error number years which God allows for us? So what is God's max on the years of humanity's waywardness? How old is humanity?

The next time a wayward person tells one of their error, the hopelessness...shall I tally the years, throw them a nice preschool version of Paul/Saul or should I share of others' ugly stories which include those from the Bible and allow God to manifest Himself.

Is this preschool or real life? What's the max of years of God's love for us? Before going on vacation did God memo me and tell me to judge? How rigid should I be of my requirements of humanity?

Is Young's personal story not of benefit? Is his wife still wallowing in a victim role or did God also bring her through the fire and beyond the hurt? Was Young's book an inspiration to others? What brought him to the point to write such a story? Where did the suggestion to write a story begin? Guideposts comes in large and small print. Should Guideposts begin printing a preschool nicety nice publication? Was this the only time Guideposts printed an ugly story? Anyone else ever told of their errors in a Guideposts story? Does Guideposts have a time max on ugliness in considering if a story is of value? Does God? 'Course God is very fond of us, so I wonder...

wow, i can hardly believe some of these comments are from christians....you who are without sin, throw the first stone!!! The article clearly says that he and kim worked and grew their post-affair relationship for the past 11 years, it never says he continued in sin for 11 years...why are you people just picking every word apart...is it to give you a reason to NOT read The Shack?? if so, just say you don't want to read it....but for people who did read it, it was a beautiful way to see papa as daddy, and the Holy Spirit and Jesus...but it is a fiction book, so put your own spin on that, but don't try to force it on everyone else.
I feel hurt for some of the know-it-all comments, even going as far as judging how he met kim...
Just remember, whatever is lovely, peaceable...etc...think on that...ask God to temper your speech before you write such trash.

I appreciate Mr. Young allowing his life to become transparent so others who are struggling with childhood abuse, besetting sins, and the fallout of suppressed anger and hurt can have hope. There are those of you who DO appear to judge no matter how you couch your thoughts in religious terms. The truth is, we all fall short of the glory of the Lord and there is not one person alive who doesn't sin a thousand times a day. For we who ask forgiveness "seven times seventy" times a day, we are forgiven. Mr. Young's transparency is a road map for those who struggle to bring their sins to the light of day and when that happens, we are given a chance to be forgiven. What was dark now is light, and now a place the Lord can work with to heal. What some of you may not know is the kind of abuse Mr. Young endured takes A LONG TIME TO HEAL. When he speaks of 11 years of getting there, he's not saying he continued in his sin for that long (I didn't get that AT ALL) but that the healing took that long. Healing hurts, and the Lord is merciful not to inflict it upon us all at once. There is understanding, forgiveness (of the perps, in this case, the parents, and of one's own self), there is reconciling what happened to the knowledge this is a sinful and broken world and terrible things happen (to even Christians), and then the healing can begin--a gentle rebuilding of a person into who he/she was meant from the beginning. These things take time, and I'm so glad his wife stood by him and even in her anger, she let the Lord do His work. I am so thankful the Lord restores the years that the locusts have eaten, and has done that for Mr. and Mrs. Young. I pray many people's lives will be changed because he took a chance and made himself vulnerable to ridicule, shame, and judgment this kind of confession can lead to. The Lord took his story and has used it mightily.

Understandably we find this story disturbing in many ways. However, not everyone handles life's situations in the same manner. Some of us are hardier than others and for whatever reason have healthier ways in dealing with things. I'd like to point out that sometimes one is in denial about traumatic events. They have some surface awareness but don't realize that they are functioning in self destructive as well as self centred ways. Its a defense mechanism some people use to cope and like Mr. Young pointed out, the things that protected him as a child destroyed him in adulthood. Sanctification is a process. Each person travels that path differently. Mr Young's testimony is told in first person narrative and therefore written from his perspective. It is disturbing but true that when anyone sins those decisions damage more than the sinner. Others also suffer as a result of another person's choice to sin. I think this is the part that is disturbing. This is the kind of thing that touches all our "hot" buttons. It's the kind of thing that can cause you to have to face the trojans hidden in your heart . For those of us severly hurt by the actions of others, these things can cause us to relive that trauma while facing our own "stuff". Where is the love here? Love that hopes all things? Bears all things? There is much to learn from each other if we take the time. Blessins ya'll

To those who made the assumption that Mr. Young continued on in sinful ways for 11 years - it must be clarified that he stated it took 11 years to HEAL, both himself and his relationship with his wife. That is entirely believable assuming his story is true.

The problem I have is that in the forward to The Shack, it is stated that the story is real - that the "events are recorded as truthfully as Mack can remember them." Now we read that Paul may not be exactly like the "fictional" main character, Mack. The forward states that someone named William Young acted as a ghost writer for someone named Mackenzie Allen Phillips, writing Mack's story, and we are given biographical information about Mack. Now we have an article by someone called Paul Young telling us that the book is like a parable.

Well, one thing the parables didn't do was mislead people into believing the stories were about actual, real people - with names and families and experiences outside the realm of the parable. They didn't leave the hearers feeling deceived, which is how I feel after reading The Shack and this article.

To those who will invariably judge me for what I just posted I'd like to say a few of things.

First is that just like many, many people, I had some horrific things happen in my youth also, from an unhappy, abusive family to the murder of my roommate at 19. I believe that virtually nobody gets out of childhood unscathed. But, though I'm not perfect I have always known right from wrong (as he must have, being the son of missionaries) and didn't grow into an amoral or immoral adult.

Second, the New Testament is filled with stories of sinners coming to Jesus because they recognized their sinful nature. They didn't sit around leaving hints (email or otherwise) of affairs and then only beg Jesus for a second chance because they were caught, offering up excuses for their bad behavior. In decades past I attended John Bradshaw's seminars and read all his books and believed in the damaged inner child and how it controls one as an adult. Now I say, "Hogwash!" Mr. Young is LUCKY he has a wife who actually stayed with him while he irresponsibly blamed his sins on his having been hurt as a child. I wouldn't have. He didn't need to "heal", he needed to "man up".

Third, the first time I ever saw Bill Clinton on TV to announce his candidacy for president, I literally became sick to my stomach. I could not explain why to anyone other than my mother who, on the other side of town, also became sick during the broadcast. Neither my mother nor I were at all surprised to learn later of his desecration of the Oval Office, his affairs, his immorality, etc. Sometimes it's so easy to see, hear (sense) what a person really is and I do not believe that God expects us to blind ourselves to reality to prove we are Christians. If this sounds too much like I'm saying it's okay to judge the person, then think of it as judging what the person actually does versus what they say they do. Nothing in Mr. Young's story makes me believe he has changed his behavior. He may believe he has changed inside but even Jesus says to judge a person by their fruits which is the only thing the rest of us can observe. Many believe the "fruits" statement only refers to how many converts an individual brings to Jesus. I disagree. Using Mr. Young's analogy of the apple seed, the only thing that seed could produce is an apple tree. And when he put the seed in the ground the only way we could know what kind of seed he had planted was when the fruit of the tree ripened.

Fourth, I do not believe it takes eleven years to stop sinning and start behaving properly. Is Mr. Young saying that for eleven years he continued to commit adultery and whatever other sins he felt like until he "healed" from his personal pain? If so, then he is not telling a story of God's salvation or love. He is, instead, contributing to the continuation of the current culture of self-centered, whiny, childish, psychobabble that excuses bad behavior and allows people to wallow in pain until THEY feel like growing up.

Fifth, on the right side of the screen of this website is the statement, "Tell us your story...Your story can help others." My main point is that Mr. Young's story starting out with his description of being caught in adultery and how HE felt about his years of deception, to me, is just not an uplifting or ethical story to inspire anyone to good behavior. I just cannot feel for a man who sinned against his wife for years, gets caught, and then tells the story of HIS pain, HIS fear, HIS childhood abuse. As they say in courtrooms, I didn't read any real remorse for the pain he had inflicted on the wife he claimed to love. He was merely terrified of being punished and acted accordingly. He hears her angry voice on the phone and does not think of HER pain but about how she would punish him for his betrayals. He reached for his wife to hug her not for her benefit but his own. He comes across completely self-centered, selfish and totally unchanged.

I was greatly disturbed while reading this story. Not by what happened to the child Paul Young which, if true, is terrible, but by the man that he was, and still is, that comes through. I also agree with MartinFamily and will say that those people defending this man by JUDGING others are hypocrites. Being a good Christian does not require checking one's intelligence, common sense, experience and even intuition at the door. Just think of the proverbial duck - if it quacks, swims and flies like a duck then it's a duck. No amount of "Christian love" changes the fact. This story is a marketing ploy pure and simple and I will NOT be buying his book.

We appreciate stories of God's work in people's lives. The stories are words of encouragement to our hearts and a view into God's love. Yet, there are those stories which do pierce our hearts with such velocity, bringing forth a repertoire of emotions. Young's story is not one of lovely origin. It is one of heart wrenching, hideous inflictions upon a being at such a young age. His story makes us aware of the damaging complications wrought into a young child's life and the tortuosity of what that person experiences and sows not only into their own life, but of others.

His personal story is an honest, beautiful look into God's relationship with us and His intense love for us. As we walk through Young's story, we see this. Young's sharing is an act of bravery generated from the heart. The Bible contains the same stories. Not lovely beginnings, ugly things yet...God's heart for us: no matter how “fermented” we may be. Rotten apples; a seed; Young's ponderance of God, “Are you there anymore?” I asked God. Am I? I wondered”; And God's precious, simplistic answer sent via a friend: “She said quietly, “Paul, there is a seed.” God stated Young's worth.

In reading his personal story, it is as I found his book, “The Shack”... gazing into Papa's eyes.

How anyone cannot see the redemptive story behind this article is beyond me. We are all sinners in the eyes of God and we are not here to judge the motives of others. We are forgiven only to the point that we forgive others. Anyone who has lived a life filled with the shame, disgust, pain, etc. that comes from a life of abuse as a child, is well aware of the damaging effects it can have on our lives as adults. It is only through the grace of God that healing can occur and it does indeed, take a long time. Our sanctification is a lifelong process. I think both the book and the author's story show the amazing healing power of the God we serve, and the power that He has to turn tragedy into triumph for His purposes and His glory.

I have been subscribing to Guideposts for myself and others for quite a few years now. I usually enjoy the articles, but this one left me angry.
I can appreciate sharing a story about overcoming adversity, but this story appears to me to be quite different. When Mr. Young describes how he met his wife, he states that he was "in a staff position in charge of the college youth group." In my opinion, that would have put Mr. Young in a position of authority over the group regardless of the ages of those attending. So when he goes on to describe how , when he saw his future wife, Kim, for the first time he says, " I changed what I had planned. "Why don't we split into groups of two so we can pray for each other?" Of course, I paired myself with Kim..." I was astounded. This to me seemed less like praying FOR each other and more like her becoming his prey.
This story is not about redemption, but about someone setting their moral and ethical obligations aside and using their authority to get what they want...much like he went on to do later when he cheated on his wife.
This story has no place in such a well respected family magazine, and is in no way a good example for families, and especially not for our young people.
Frankly, I am quite surprised this story made it past the editors. I am disappointed with the fact that Guideposts would not only publish this story, but use it to promote their magazine.