Rise Up Over Depression

When I approached my third year of widowhood and the last of my four children were about to leave home, I felt very melancholy. It wasn't the first time I had felt depressed, but it was bad enough to keep me awake for entire nights. I seldom laughed and I seemed haunted by thoughts of "how it used to be." All my anticipation for life was gone. Finally, like a drowning person, I cried out, "Do something, God!"

The next day I happened to see a small ad in my church paper for a secretary at the church counseling center. I had the strangest feeling that God was telling me to answer that ad. My church was 25 miles away, in downtown Atlanta, and I hated driving downtown. Furthermore, I wasn't a secretary and hadn't worked outside the home in 28 years. But in spite of my reluctance, I still felt God nudging me.

I got the job. And I was a disaster. I made one mistake after another—even wrote down phone numbers wrong! I had the feeling that everyone would be relieved if I quit—including me. The one good thing about it was that I began to take an interest in the people who came in for counseling. I prayed for them. I began to notice their progress and rejoice over their victories.

Slowly things changed for me. I was exhausted when I got home, but content at night, and sleep came again. So did laughter. I began to anticipate the next day. After several months I began to understand why God had wanted me to take the job. Doing something difficult—something for which maybe I wasn't even qualified—had helped me because I was helping someone else.

I've learned some things about depression since then: that you can't escape by running away, that it can attack men and even children. I know too that if depression persists, it's wise to seek professional help.

But I've also learned there are things you can do on your own to confront depression:

1. Arm yourself for the battle.
I read encouraging passages of Scripture and try to memorize them (Isaiah 61:3 or 40:31, or Psalm 34:17, for instance). I also read from a favorite book, My Utmost For His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. Or I listen to inspirational music, sometimes singing along. Of course, I don't feel like turning on the music. But this is a battle.

2. Try to pinpoint why you are depressed.
For instance, I miss being a wife, and I think that if I were a wife again, I wouldn't be depressed. But I must remember that I was a wife for 25 years, and there were often times when I felt depressed then. I explain to myself that people, circumstances and things don't make one really happy. Joy comes from choosing to believe that God is working in my life in all circumstances.

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