Grandma Knows Best

When I was growing up in North Carolina, a social occasion was an evening spent catching lightning bugs. Fine dining was eating at the hospital cafeteria.

I would dream of eating in fancy restaurants and visiting glamorous places. To me, that was what etiquette and manners was all about. My grandmother would just roll her eyes at me.

“Patricia,” she’d say. “The No. 1 rule of good manners is kindness, not knowing which fork to use. Don’t you ever forget that.”

And I never have.

God has blessed me with the opportunity to live my dreams. I’ve been invited to the White House. Athletes, CEOs and celebrities turn to me, a country girl from North Carolina, for advice on social graces.

What they don’t know is that I have a secret weapon. My grandmother. She taught me what matters most in life, lessons that never go out of style even in this fast-paced digital age.

Here are some tips I’ve learned that will make your grandmother proud and give you the social skills to navigate any occasion.

1. Kindness is the No. 1 rule of manners.
When I was young I’d go to church potlucks with my grandmother and she’d always make me fix plates for the older people who couldn’t stand in line.

I’d get so annoyed at her because all my friends were getting their food ahead of me. But then, when I took a plate to Mr. Henderson and saw his face light up, I knew grandma was right all along.

Kindness is a skill you can learn, just like anything else. All day long, in everything you do, you’re sending out messages to the people around you. Often we’re in such a frenzy to stay digitally connected that we’re disconnected emotionally. We don’t connect with the most important people in our lives.

Remember that small things have the biggest impact. Grandma would wake up in the morning thinking of some way she could brighten someone’s day. Do that and I promise it’ll pay off for you more than a degree from Harvard.

2. Make a good first impression.
I was interviewing for a modeling job and was so nervous I was sure my knees were knocking. I knew there was no way I’d get the position.

Then lo and behold, I got the call. When I later asked why I was chosen, they said I was the only candidate who had made a point of shaking each of the interviewers’ hands.

Every day more than 90% of our communication with people is non-verbal. When you’re meeting someone stand proud and tall, with your toes pointed at the person. Never lean. Believe it or not, studies have shown you lose 90% of your credibility when you lean.