The Reason I Haven't Quit Yet

More often than not, I have days that are trying, kids who test my patience, and an endless list of chores that I never seem to finish. I have laundry that is never quite done, dishes piled up, bathrooms that need to be cleaned, carpets that need to be vacuumed, and dinners that need to be cooked.

With six hungry children, I can never keep food in the house, so I am constantly running out to the grocery store. I have a hard time making sure the bills are paid and the kids all have clothes that fit them.

I often forget to leave my kids lunch money or to RSVP to birthday party invitations.

I usually feel like I’m not a very good mother and I wish I could do a better job. I’m almost never thanked for any of the things I do on a daily basis. So why do I keep doing it?

I do it for the smile that Brooklyn gives me every morning, that smile that lights up her eyes and says she loves me whether the floors are clean or not.

I do it for Jackson, who makes me laugh when he tells me his plans to invent some marvelous machine that will clean his room for him.

I do it for Savannah when she comes to me with a problem, completely trusting that I have all the answers.

I do it for Austin, who looks to me for reassurance that he’s doing all right.

I do it for Lexi, who takes my hand and pulls me into her room to play a game with her.

I do it for Clay, who brings me a book, climbs into my lap, and looks up at me expectantly as I start to read his favorite story.

Occasionally, one of my children demonstrates they’re learning some of the things I’ve tried so hard to teach them. For instance, one night Jackson was jumping around the room, being loud and goofy because this is what kids do at night. They save up that last little burst of energy and use it just when we’ve officially run out of steam. They catch you off guard this way. I warned him that he either needed to settle down or go to bed. He chose to go into orbit, so I sent him to bed.

“But, Mom, can’t I have a second chance?”

“No. You made your choice, now get in bed.”

“Pleeeeeease can I have a second chance?”

“This is nonnegotiable. Goodnight.”

“But, Mom, God gives second chances.”