Balancing Act

I knew there'd be trouble last weekend when I found myself squeezing to-do's in the calendar margins.

The boxes weren't big enough to fit sightseeing with Dad (who was visiting from Ohio), two parties, preparations for my son's first birthday, finishing touches on an article, grocery shopping, donating a box of old clothes, reading the novel languishing on my nightstand and seeing a soon-to-close play.

Balance—or lack of it—is something I've been acutely aware of since Luke was born a year ago.

The first six months of Luke's life, my husband had to work late and on weekends, so my time was completely absorbed with baby and work. I loved both, but I missed "me" time—seeing friends, taking a class, shopping for some spit-up-free clothes.

Then Tom got a new job at a firm with more family-friendly hours, and I arranged with my boss to work from home on Mondays. So I now have more time for my son, renewed focus on my job and, with Tom able to help care for Luke, I have more time for me.

In my quest for using that precious time meaningfully, I often wonder how I should juggle all those things crammed into my calendar's margins? Like most people I'm realizing that finding true balance is a challenge.

You've probably heard the buzz phrase "work-life balance," which is typically interpreted by experts as having time for both work and family. It's natural for those realms to be top of mind. But aren't you—and your life—a bit more complex?

"When you look deeper, you discover that the feeling of imbalance—the feeling that all is not right, that there has to be a better way, that work life is too demanding—comes when imbalances exist in other areas of your life," says author Paul Wilson. Imbalance leaves you with a feeling of restlessness or nagging dissatisfaction, a sense that there's something missing. It might strike quickly or creep up, depending on your life circumstances.

Mind, body and spirit—each needs fulfillment for you to feel your best. Imbalance happens when some areas of your life draw too much of your energy, leaving other areas neglected. That's understandable when you grapple with conflicts between what you must do and what you want to do.

Take your responsibilities: work, family, community, health, friends, personal interests, and moral or spiritual growth. We can divide these into four main areas: Work opposite Social, Spiritual opposite Physical. Work is your job, but also your need to learn and achieve. Social encompasses all of your human connections, including family, friends and community.

Physical covers all things worldly, such as food, sleep, exercise, hobbies and entertainment. Spiritual is the soul's domain—not only faith, but your values and your sense of life's meaning and of connection to the larger world.