Relationships & Family

The Healing

jbloustein — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:18:57 -0500

One phone call.

No doubt you’ve heard those overnight success stories—the actor getting the breakthrough part, the struggling musician whose song everyone is suddenly talking about.

The book I’ve written, The Shack, has proved to be hugely successful in ways that I couldn’t possibly have imagined.

But the phone call that got it all started was something that threw my ordered world—what I desperately wanted people to believe was ordered—into pain and chaos long before I ever put pen to paper.

In Sickness and in Health

admin — Tue, 01 Mar 2005 10:41:00 -0600

Swoosh. The trees shot by in a blur on the upper reaches of the Easter Bowl, one of my favorite runs at the Santa Fe Ski Basin, in northern New Mexico.

The wind stung my cheeks and beneath me my skis felt like they were barely in contact with the snow. I pulled up my poles and tucked my body tight. The Easter Bowl was a tough, exhilarating run and the slope in front of me was mercifully free of the beginner and intermediate crowds I knew I'd hit when I got halfway down the mountain. It was just me and a field of moguls and powder, the way I liked it.

The Road to Lasting Love

admin — Sun, 01 Jan 2006 10:31:00 -0600

Even if you're not the hearts-and-flowers type, with Valentine's Day coming, you're probably thinking about the one you love. Is your relationship cozy? Or could it use a little warming up? Either way, why not bolster your bond?

Love is grand, but we know it ain't always easy. That's why we talked to marriage experts—from professional relationship counselors to couples who have been happily hitched for two decades or longer—and asked them, "How do you make love last?"

Expert Advice: Dream On

admin — Sat, 01 Jan 2005 13:12:00 -0600

Show me a couple who dreams about their future together—or talks about their dreams—and I will show you a couple who is deeply in love.

People who help each other access and focus their dreams are vital to one another. The best marriages I know involve two people who have a well-formed and harmonious vision of the life they are pursuing together.

These people thoroughly enjoy dreaming together—and planning a way to make their dreams come true.

Leap of Love

admin — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 12:56:00 -0600

It should have been the perfect date for Ryan and me—a late summer hike through majestic Silver Falls State Park, the largest in Oregon. The scene around us was out of a nature film: a thick forest of dark, moss-covered evergreens, dewy, drooping ferns and fluorescent clovers lining the trail. We strolled alongside a gurgling creek, walking my brother's dog, Little Pig, who stopped now and again to sniff a random flower or patch of grass. A romantic, serene moment. Except Ryan just had to bring up what was bothering him. What was bothering me too.

Expert Advice: An Honest Solution

admin — Fri, 01 Apr 2005 08:51:00 -0600

Rebuliding trust is one of the hardest things in a marriage. We trust our partners implicity, unthinkingly; when that trust is broken the betrayal is never far from our thoughts. To heal you've got to go deep. In the case of infidelity a couple has to ask why it happened and what are the consequences.

Until you get to a deep level of trust you can't have a deep level of intimacy. Conversely, until you have a deep level of intimacy you can't have trust. The key to this paradox? Total honesty. You don't have to do it alone.

Mystery Dream

admin — Wed, 01 Oct 1986 12:01:00 -0500

In that mysterious Chapter 2 of the Book of Daniel, God saves Daniel's life by revealing to him the content of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream. I'd long been awed by this story, for it spoke of a dimension of the Spirit that was strange to me.

Then one stormy night my wife, Elizabeth, and I sat in front of a fire with our friends Len LeSourd and his wife, Catherine Marshall. After an hour of prayer, we took a break. Catherine made cocoa and our talk turned to the subject of dreams.

The Impossible Search

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:32:51 -0600

When I discovered I had lost my wedding ring I was upset. It wasn't just a piece of jewelry; it was the symbol of a vital turning point in my life.

That November evening I searched everywhere, rummaging through clothes pockets, ransacking drawers, peering under beds. I nearly drove my wife, Mary, and our two daughters crazy asking them if they had seen it.

Mary understood my desperation; the ring meant a lot to her too. She had put it on my finger at a time when life had begun anew for both of us. That was in 1978, 10 years after we had married.

Expert Advice: Together Apart

admin — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:34:00 -0600

Distance can be very hard on a marriage, but in our world it often can't be avoided. Military spouses face it. So do couples with work commitments that take them far afield. They find themselves in situations that can test the firmest foundations of love and trust. It can be stressful.

My Corner Cupboard

admin — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 12:15:35 -0500

Five years after my husband, Werner, and I were married, we built our dream house on a wooded hill in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. To clear the site, he had to get rid of several walnut trees. "Do you have to cut them down?" I asked.

"They could fall on the house in a windstorm."

"I hate to see those beautiful old trees end up as firewood."

"Tell you what," he said. "I'll take the logs to the mill and have them cut into boards. Walnut is a good hardwood. I'll make a corner cabinet out of it for you."