marnirader's blog

Every Day Spirit

2010-03-12T10:26:05-06:00

"Tidal waves are usually significant during times when one feels a bit overwhelmed," Bambi told me.

A few weeks ago I had a strange water dream.

I was in a house, and an enormous tidal wave was crashing all around it. But it was parting around the house, rather than breaking over it, and I could see the waves rushing past outside the windows of the house. I remember feeling more perplexed and awed, rather than frightened, and wondered what this all meant.

Bambi Corso and I both completed the year-long Quantum Success Coaching Academy course taught by Christy Whitman. Since the course is taught over the phone, we had just recently met in person after finding out we both live in the San Fernando Valley. Bambi is a Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach and DreamTender, so I asked her about the one I'd just had.

"The neat thing is that you are able to divert the water so it didn't crush you—that's actually a really good image!"

"How did you come to be a DreamTender?" I asked her.

"I have always been a dreamer, and fascinated by dreams," she told me. "I read every book I could on dreams, joined a dream group, and then became certified in Advanced DreamTending."

"I love teaching people how to work with their dreams and sharing the importance of listening to their guidance. Dreams are like an internal navigational system, a built-in component that we are all born with in order to understand ourselves and our lives better."

"The dreamtime is a place where we are informed, and since we spend one third of our lives there it seems appropriate to pay attention."

"How does DreamTending mesh with your coaching practice?" I asked.

"First, I am a Law of Attraction Life Coach, which means I incorporate universal laws as I look for areas where your energy is not aligned with what you want to create and manifest. I incorporate dreamtending into my practice which deepens the experience for my clients, because we are working on both conscious and unconscious levels together. It makes for a richer session as well as an enhanced opportunity to identify areas that need attention."

This past week I had another dream about water, but this one was just flooding, not a tidal wave, and I was able to easily escape it. I took this to mean things were lightening up for me.

I was so grateful to Bambi for explaining my dream to me and helping me realize that even though I was going through a stressful and scary time, there was an inner strength in me that would carry me through.

"I get such joy working with people who want to make positive changes in their lives. When things start shifting for them in their lives the way they want them to, that is when I am happiest," Bambi told me.

"There is a tremendous reward in walking alongside someone who is ready to be all that they can be in their life, and not only being witness to it happening, but being part of the process. I just love it."

If you would like to know more about your dreams, Bambi provides a Dream Reading service on her website.

Like me, you might be pleasantly surprised at what they have to tell you.

Every Day Spirit

2010-02-26T09:47:28-06:00

It took several hours for Guadalupe to look at me. I focused on the iridescent green shadow on her lids while her espresso colored eyes held down the floor.

We were both participating in a fiction and non-fiction workshop, given by the non-profit organization WriteGirl.

Founded by songwriter, vocalist and poet Keren Taylor in 2001, WriteGirl promotes confidence and self-expression through creative writing to empower inner-city, at-risk teen girls in Los Angeles.

Remember Clare Sera, the guest filmmaker I met at the Spiritual Cinema Circle in Denver in December? It took about 37 seconds after learning I was a writer living in L.A. for her to recruit me for WriteGirl, and I'm so glad she did. Clare went to high school with Keren in British Columbia, and has been an active member of WriteGirl since the beginning.

WriteGirl participation doesn't only result in better self-esteem, more positive behavior, increased communication skills and sharpened creative talents for these teen girls.

In a school district where dropout percentages are 60%-75%, WriteGirl has a stunning 100% success rate of not only graduating their teen participants from high school, but sending them all to college. All of them. Every single girl.

I was thrilled to finally be able to volunteer for an organization I felt passionate about—I'd been wanting for years to be involved in something that resonated deeply within me. Like GUIDEPOSTS, this organization is clearly making a difference—and changing these young girls' lives in ways they and their families had never thought possible.

This past Saturday was my second workshop with WriteGirl since joining this January. After I was matched with Guadalupe at the start of the workshop, we chatted and completed several writing exercises together.

While I had to grasp at remembering my own feelings of being 14 to better relate to Guadalupe, it wasn’t hard to understand her nervousness and shyness. I was just as eager to impress her and have her like me.

Guadalupe told me she missed visiting her grandmother in Honduras, that her family hadn't been able to afford a trip to visit her in the last few years. She loves eating fried bananas there, and the slow pace of life in her grandmother's small town.

As we worked on the creative writing exercises, I learned as much as she did about writing skills. While I earned a degree in communications, I learned how to write for print and broadcast news. Most of my writing has been either personal, true stories, like the ones I write for GUIDEPOSTS, ANGELS ON EARTH, and this blog, or the copy I write to sell things, which I use in my marketing career.

I couldn't remember the last time I wrote just to be creative, just to conjure and release words for their own deliciousness.

I was blown away by how creative these teen girls were—how unedited and raw their writing was—I envied their free expression.

It was obvious at my first workshop that they were much better writers than I was, and that I would be learning from them perhaps more than they would learn from me. I was just there to encourage them and feed their self esteem, to offer unconditional love, praise, and admiration, no matter what they wrote. It wasn't hard to do.

Guadalupe still didn't look me in the eye when she handed her journal to me and asked if I'd like to read it. Of course I said yes, and marveled at her uninhibited style...un-self-conscious, deeply truthful, and unafraid to explore with words. I definitely had some things to learn from these girls about writing.

Keren had told us to never be discouraged when we thought we weren't getting through to the girls—that we made more of a difference than we thought, even if the results didn't seem apparent.

I tried to be cool and not show my elation when at the end of the day Guadalupe finally looked at me and asked if I'd be at the next workshop. My coolness didn't prevent me from giving her a hug, and telling her what a wonderful writer she was.

I will definitely be at the next workshop.

If you would like to help change the life of a WriteGirl, please visit their website and purchase their most recent, and already award-winning, anthology Silhouette, or make a donation. Just $25 provides writing workshop materials, including journals, for three girls.

I can promise you the writing of these amazing teens will blow you away. You might even learn something, just like this 45-year-old writer does, every single time I'm with them.

Every Day Spirit

2010-02-19T10:05:29-06:00

Part of my morning routine includes going back to bed with a cup of tea and a small snack as I read, write in my journal, and meditate to start my day.

I always share one of my raw almonds with Tula, my Miniature Pinscher, who is snuggled up next to me (yes, both my dogs sleep on the bed with me).

One morning this week Tula was begging for an almond. The rule is, I eat first, and then she gets an almond. I think dogs interpret that as an alpha assertion, but I just consider it good manners.

"No, Tula, you have to wait." I told her. She'd already had her breakfast. So technically she'd eaten before I did anyway.

After a couple of admonitions, Tula decided to change the rules.

She lunged at my plate balanced on my lap and grabbed not one, but two almonds.

"Tula!" I scolded her. I'd never seen her do that, and did not approve.

"Don't you trust me? I always give you one!"

She just blinked at me, not looking at all guilty.

I wondered what made her not trust me this time—to act out of a sense of lack and neediness.

It made me think of the times I did the same thing. As much as I believe we live in an abundant Universe, and I've never been homeless or missed a meal, I can still act from a place of lack.

Being unemployed along with so many others for the last six months has definitely influenced my view of what I need. At first I was resentful and resistant to making any changes in my lifestyle or spending habits.

But I made a conscious effort to get to the root of these feelings and work through them, so I could still be happy and enjoy my life no matter what my employment or economic status.

We are not our bank accounts, and we are not our stuff. We are not the restaurants with high star ratings we go to, or the label of wine we can afford.

And there really isn't a lot that we actually need…we just think we do.

We can always choose to live in a place of abundance and faith, and stay connected to our unlimited source that is always available.

Tula's almond thieving was a good reminder that I don't have to grasp greedily, I just have to remember my connection with abundance, and remember that I always have everything I need. I need to stay in that place of faith that there is enough. There is always enough.

For Tula, for me, and for all of you.

We can all choose to have faith in enough.

Every Day Spirit

2010-02-12T10:39:27-06:00

Have you ever re-read a favorite book and resonated with something entirely different than what you received the first time? I think that's because we, and life, are always changing.

Last week I blogged about re-reading Martha Beck's brilliant book Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What!

It is especially timely for me right now as I look for work as a writer, and I was fascinated with her section on "countermands."

Martha says if you feel you're on the right path but have become stuck, don't assume you've got the destination wrong—you just might be misinterpreting what you hear, and you need to do some "countermanding."

Basically a countermand is an instruction that a command should not be followed, and in this case it means your unconscious beliefs are convincing you there's no way you can get what you want.

Last week I discussed my countermands—the limiting beliefs and the big ole "buts" I felt were preventing me from having my dream career.

Here's one of them: "I really want to work as a writer, but there is too much competition in L.A. for writers. It's really hard to find writing work here."

Martha believes we can choose to discredit these countermands, or limiting beliefs, by using a reality check in order to open our minds to the possibility of gaining our heart's desires.

So I decided to try her format:

"My mind is choosing not to have (Condition A) [a successful career as a writer] because it believes the problem is (Condition B) [that there is too much competition in L.A. for writers]. My true self can create (Condition A) [a successful career as a writer] because it knows (Condition B) [there is too much competition in L.A. for writers] isn't the problem—my beliefs are."

The next step in the process is discrediting the countermand, and Martha suggests completing the underlined sentences:

First thing I would do if I did not believe in Condition B: I guess I would remember that the true nature of the universe is abundance, and there is plenty of success for all of us. We are all meant to use our gifts and be happy and fulfilled.

Second thing I would do if I did not believe in Condition B: I would have a lot more confidence in my ability to have success, and I would re-direct my thoughts from fear and lack, and focus them on pursuing and having that fabulous writing career.

Third thing I would do if I did not believe Condition B: I would have the courage to approach the companies and publications I most admire, and to confidently introduce myself and my skills, and how I can use them for our mutual success.

Wow.

I guess it really boils down to some good old fashioned self-confidence, and permission to follow your dreams. Maybe sometimes we just need a little help re-directing—a friendly voice reminding us of who we are, where we came from, and what we're truly capable of achieving.

Martha's words were that friendly voice of encouragement for me.

Is there a place in your life where you're feeling stuck? Where your limiting beliefs are not allowing your heart's desire? Try the above exercise and see if it opens your mind...and new doors.

After we release these limiting beliefs, Martha comments on the magical things that can happen when we get unstuck.

"They often seem to happen by themselves, with stunning speed and in ways that make it hard not to believe our consciousness is sending out radio signals to the rest of creation."

I'm looking forward to creating new success with my writing. And I'm definitely ready to send out those signals.

Thanks, Martha, for re-directing my gaze upward, where it belongs.

Every Day Spirit

2010-02-05T12:07:29-06:00

I love Martha Beck. I think she's a genius. Not just because she went to Harvard and can use $5 words like sesquipedalian (which means given to using long words), but because she combines her intellect, experience as a life coach, and most delightful of all, her wonderful sense of humor to impart life lessons.

In my April 16, 2009 blog, I wrote about a lesson in abundance from her best-selling book Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live.

Recently I re-read her follow-up book, Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What!

I needed a pick-me-up. As I struggle to keep hope alive, stay positive and maintain my faith while I'm unemployed and yearning to make a living doing something I love, I welcome all the help I can get.

In Chapter 7 she talks about what to do when you feel stuck.

"If you have enormous dreams but can't seem to make them come true, is it because those dreams are too big? Almost never. The impediments that stop people once they're on the path to their right lives are made of false beliefs."

Martha says if you feel you're on the right path but have become stuck, don't assume you've got the destination wrong—you just might be misinterpreting what you hear, and you need to do some "countermanding."

Basically a countermand is an instruction that a command should not be followed, and in this case it means your unconscious beliefs are convincing you there's no way you can get what you want.

"Feeling deeply stuck is always the result of a stalemate between a command and a countermand from your own belief system."

The problem, she says, is your big ole' BUT. It's the "but" that crops up when you talk about what you want.

I had to take a look at my beliefs regarding my career. Did I truly believe I could do what I want? Here are some of my countermands, which include my big ole' BUTS:

"I really want to work as a writer, but there is too much competition in L.A. for writers. It's really hard to find writing work here."

"I love the freedom of freelancing, but to make a good living, you have to have a corporate job and be in an office 50 hours a week."

"I am open to using my experience in a corporate environment, but corporate jobs always involve lots of politics, competition and negative drama."

"I want to make a living doing what I love, but that's an unrealistic dream—you have to just get a job and do it to pay the bills."

Wow, those are some pretty big ole' buts. And believing them doesn't feel very good.

Her book goes into a lot more detail with exercises on how to discredit the countermands, but Martha basically wants us to recognize that it's these BUTS—our mind and beliefs, not external circumstances—that are the real cause of our stuckness.

This week I'm going to work on discrediting my countermands—or disbelieving my false beliefs—to see if I can navigate around my big BUTS, and I will report back on my experience in my next blog.

Thanks, Martha, for helping me open my mind again to my heart's desire—and giving me tools to erase the clouds blocking my view of my very own bright, shining north star.

Every Day Spirit

2010-01-29T10:03:17-06:00

I loved reading Kelee Katillac's story Pet Project in this month's GUIDEPOSTS. The timing was perfect.

My dear friend Janice just lost her cat Lucy to cancer, and on Monday night of this week my cousin Brent called in tears because his adorable miniature poodle puppy, Onyx, had been hit by a car.

I don't have to tell you how hard it is to lose a pet if you've been there, but there are lots of things we can do to aid the healing process and honor the memories of these loving and joyous family members.

Eleven years ago, when my Dachshund mix, Rawley, died suddenly of an epileptic seizure, I was distraught. He'd been my baby for 8 years—had traveled with me to Japan for two years while I taught English, and consoled me during my divorce.

I took the next day off work, and emailed my friends and family about Rawley. The outpouring of love and support I received back was incredibly helpful and comforting. Everyone shared their favorite memory of him, from his obsession with food—the time he reached up and gently slipped a hamburger patty right out from between the buns as my friend was eating it—to his obsession with anything that rolled.

I finally found a used bowling ball for him to push around since it was the only one he couldn't destroy. Even though he only weighed 25 pounds, he would actually pick up the bowling ball by the finger holes and carry it around.

Remembering all his silly antics replaced my tears with laughs, and helped me focus on the gratitude I had for getting to be his "mom."

I printed out all the emails everyone sent, and placed them in a beautiful, carved wooden box from Mexico. When I received his ashes back, I put those in there too, along with his collar and several favorite pictures. I still have the box—it travels with me whenever I move.

I live with my cousin Jenny, and when her kitty Penny died last year, we memorialized her with a story. Our Year with Penny appeared in the November/December issue of ANGELS ON EARTH, and was the most wonderful, comforting way we could think of to honor her. And after going through this, Jenny is able to help her brother Brent with his loss.

First, you grieve—it's so important. Don't hold back the tears—cry until you can't cry anymore, and talk about your pet as much as you need to with others who understand. They deserve our tears, and it's proof of how much we loved them.

In addition to Kelee's beautiful shrine display, here are some other ideas for cherishing and remembering what my mom calls our "fur babies":

1. One emergency animal hospital I know takes an impression of the pet's paw in clay and gives it as a gift to grieving pet owners. I love this very personalized keepsake idea. Check with your vet or animal hospital to see if they can do the same.

2. To help children through the grieving process, have them create a scrapbook for their beloved pet. Put in pictures and have them write down their favorite things about this littlest family member—funny incidents or the story of the day they brought them home. This is something they can look at the rest of their life, and helps preserve memories that otherwise might be forgotten.

3. Talk to your pet at night, just before going to bed. Ask your pet to visit you in your dreams. A few weeks after Rawley died, I had a dream of him running joyously through bright green grass, and I woke up feeling a sense of peace and comfort that was instrumental to my healing. I knew he was okay and happy where he was, and that he wanted me to be, too.

4. Thank your pets—take some time to meditate and pray on how grateful you are that you had your time together. Thank them for all the love they gave you, and for the honor of being their pet parent. Know that you will see them again and that their spirit will always be with you and, I like to think, watching over you. This helps release them with love, so you can heal.

5. Take the time to decide for yourself when you're ready, if you choose, to have another pet. My cousin Brent asked me how long he had to wait to get another dog. "It's up to you," I said. "There's no definite waiting period. I was ready two months after Rawley died to welcome another pet, and that's when I got Tinker." You'll know when you're ready.

I think all our pets are really angels, don't you? They are pure joy, unconditional love, and cherished members of our families. Honoring them is a wonderful way to help heal, and to show our gratitude for all the love they've given us.

This blog is dedicated to Rawley, Penny, Lucy, and Onyx—and to all of your sweet pets. We love you, we thank you, and we'll see you again.

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Send us a prayer for your pet and we'll post it.

Every Day Spirit

2010-01-22T11:21:43-06:00

It was just before Thanksgiving and I was in Seattle visiting my family. I was staying with a girlfriend who was just getting ready to move. "You can have any of these you want," she said, waving a hand toward a stack of books. "I'm just going to take them to a thrift store."

I noticed some older looking books in the pile and pulled out one with a faded red hard cover.

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. It was the 1962 edition. I love old books, and I especially enjoy reading originals as the writing can be pretty entertaining—and enlightening in terms of showing us how far we've come as a society. But despite some quaint (I'm being kind here) descriptions of women and minorities from that day, many of the lessons from this book are now extremely relevant—and needed.

I visited the Napoleon Hill Foundation online and discovered that the original book was written in the depths of the great depression—a time ruled by fear and a loss of hope.

Americans of the 1930s had no way of knowing how well our country would bounce back after that time. Perhaps if they'd had a glimpse of our future, it would have done wonders for building hope.

I don't have to tell you a lot of us need that hope as well right now, not to mention money. So maybe we can take a lesson from that time to help us have faith that much better times are in our future as well.

The words of Napoleon Hill encouraged and reminded me to hold that vision of hope for our country and our world, and that there is also unlimited potential for my own growth and success.

You can read Napoleon Hill's classic Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller--Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century or visit the website for more detail on his 17 Success Scrolls written below:

1. Definiteness of Purpose
Successful people move on their own initiative, but they know where they are going before they start.

2. Mastermind
No man can become a permanent success without taking others along with him (or her).

3. Applied Faith
You can do it if you believe you can.

4. Going the Extra Mile
The most successful people are those who serve the greatest number of people.

5. Pleasing Personality
It is essential that you develop a Pleasing Personality—pleasing to yourself and others.

6. Personal Initiative
Today's employer usually is yesterday's employee who found opportunity waiting for him at the end of the second mile.

7. Positive Mental Attitude
Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want. Remember the old proverb: "Be very careful what you set your heart on, for you will surely achieve it."

8. Enthusiasm
To be enthusiastic, act enthusiastically!

9. Self-Discipline
Direct your thoughts, control your emotions, and ordain your destiny.

10. Accurate Thinking
Truth will be truth, regardless of a closed mind, ignorance, or the refusal to believe.

11. Controlled Attention
Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want.

12. Teamwork
Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset which you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

13. Learning from Adversity and Defeat
REMEMBER: every defeat, every disappointment and every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.

14. Creative Vision
The imagination is the workshop of the soul wherein are shaped all plans for individual achievement.

15. Maintenance of Sound Health
"A sound mind in a sound body, is a short but full description of a happy state in the world."

16. Budgeting Time and Money
Tell me how you use your spare time and how you spend your money, and I will tell you where and what you will be 10 years from now.

17. Cosmic Habitforce
You are where you are and what you are because of your established habits, thoughts and deeds.

Every Day Spirit

2010-01-15T11:45:05-06:00

One of the things I love about living in Los Angeles is that there are so many great spiritual events to attend. There is such a delicious smorgasbord of spirituality here—so many wonderful teachers committed to the new thought and positive thinking movements either live here or visit frequently to speak or hold seminars—I just feel incredibly fortunate.

So I was thrilled when a friend from church told me Marianne Williamson was giving lectures in Hollywood—by donation—every Tuesday night. I had loved her most recent book, The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife.

I read it when I was 43 and beginning to wonder what mid-life had in store for me. In the book she talks about a new humanity just getting started at 45 or 50—this was such great news to me! Feeling unsure about my future, her words were not only a great comfort, but inspired me to look forward to the coming years:

"What we've learned by that time, from both our failures as well as our successes, tends to have humbled us into purity. When we were young, we had energy but we were clueless about what to do with it. Today, we have less energy, perhaps, but we have far more understanding of what each breath of life is for. And now at last, we have a destiny to fulfill—not a destiny of life that's simply over, but rather a destiny of a life that is finally truly lived."

"Midlife is not a crisis; it's a time of rebirth. It's not a time to accept your death; it's a time to accept your life—and to finally, truly live it, as you and you alone know deep in your heart it was mean to be lived."

Wow, talk about inspirational! To get excited about mid-life when the message most of the world gave was "Stick a fork in yourself, 'cuz your done," was music to my ears.

I had seen Marianne on Oprah, and thought she was deeply spiritual, wise, and loving. Hey, anybody Oprah looks up to has to have some seriously good stuff going on!

But I wasn't prepared for how powerful she was when I saw her in person. I must have somehow got the impression that she was sweet and loving, but a little on the delicate, fragile side.

And I was very wary of people I call spiritual oreos—loving on the outside but jerks on the inside. I was curious about the real Marianne, not just the person I saw on TV.

As I listened to her speak at the Regency Showcase Theater on La Brea last week, I quickly realized this was a woman of deep power, conviction and a strength that comes from walking through fire while always headed in the direction of truth.

"You know," Marianne told us, "It was really easy to be loving and spiritual when I was just getting started in my career. That's because nobody had really tried to mess with me yet!"

We all laughed out loud in recognition at that comment. This woman was REAL, and she kicked some serious spiritual butt.

She talked about the real stuff in life, the hard stuff, and the part of growth that involved looking at the stuff inside ourselves that we prefer to ignore so we can keep blaming the outer world for all our problems.

Marianne devoted a lot of time to answering questions from the audience, and she did not suffer foolishness. She was always loving, but very honest. If you weren't being honest, she was going to point out to you where you were fooling yourself, and limiting your own growth.

"Man, I love this woman!" I thought to myself. "She has got some powerful mojo."

But Marianne wasn't there to promote herself, she was there to wake us up—to get us all to realize that this was a new time, a new age, and a new opportunity. And if we were going to bring it about, we had to start putting our spiritual beliefs into practice. And that meant doing the hard work—looking at the world for the places and people needing our help.

Not only helping the poor and starving and third world countries, that was very much needed, but by putting our spirituality into practice—right now, every single day. Starting with our families, starting with our friends, the girl at Starbucks, the guy at the dry cleaner, and the people who cut us off in traffic.

And the answer was always love. The world needs more love. Not wimpy love, but truthful love. Strong love. The tough kind that cuts through the bull and helps us be our best selves, so that we can help uplift others.

I can't wait to go back and hear her speak again.

Thanks Marianne, for helping truly make this an age of miracles.

Every Day Spirit

2010-01-08T10:38:50-06:00

Ouch.

My friend Alice was angry.

Really angry.

I had apologized for my behavior, and thought that was enough, but I guess it wasn't. I didn't understand the level of her anger, and maybe she didn't either.

I felt beat up and dove right into self-pity, telling other friends about the situation later and feeling sorry for myself. Wow, I'm really playing the victim role here, I thought to myself. I hate it when other people do that. I wonder how I can get out of this?

When people in my life come to me with tales of victimhood and self-pity, I usually try to (gently, I hope) point out their role in the situation, and ask how they may have contributed to creating it. And then ask if they have ever done anything similar.

Seeing our part in any situation leads to ownership, growth, and ultimately forgiveness. And recalling a time when we did the same thing helps us give the other person a break. I call this the Forgiveness Mirror. And I needed to go look into it myself.

When I thought about my conflict with Alice, I realized I had done the exact same thing. I had once been harsh with my friend Roberta, and didn't really understand why. But I took out all my anger on her. I felt terrible about it for years, and finally called her one day and asked for her forgiveness. Lucky for me, Roberta forgave me, and we are close friends to this day.

Remembering that incident helped me realize that we all make mistakes, we all hurt each other even when we have the best intentions, and if we make amends there is always the chance we can be forgiven. Even if we don't think we deserved the treatment, wasn't there a time in our past when we hurt someone else?

Looking in that forgiveness mirror is a great way to break out of the self-pity and victimhood game. Not to feel bad about ourselves, but just to realize playing the victim keeps us separate, when we're all in this together, and nobody is better or worse than anyone else.

Whatever it is that they did or we did, that mirror helps us remember our own behavior, and let others be allowed to make mistakes too. Because the next mess up might be our own.

After letting go of the self-pity, you can look in that mirror with love, and enjoy that loving, forgiving face looking back at you.

Alice called later and apologized, and I was happy to forgive her, remembering how Roberta had forgiven me. And that's a reflection I love to see.

Every Day Spirit

2010-01-02T11:31:30-06:00

I have a "pet" squirrel I feed walnuts to in the fork of a tree trunk in my front yard.

When she first stood up and flicked her tail in our big magnolia tree this past June, it was clear she was nursing babies.

So of course I wanted to make sure she was getting enough to eat (yes, I compulsively feel the need to feed—friends, families, and even squirrels! I'm a nurturer, what can I say…)

She must have been hungry, because she took the nuts right from my fingers, and didn't seem to be scared of me at all.

I enjoyed feeding her, and loved how she welcomed the nuts—gobbling them up, no questions asked. She visited frequently, sometimes chattering loudly to get my attention and come outside with the nuts.

I thought about how open she was to receiving.

"I need to be more like that," I thought. "Maybe I can learn something from observing this momma squirrel."

Squirrel Lesson #1: Accept the good.

When squirrels find nuts, they go for it. They don't seem to sit there and analyze the situation. "Do I deserve this delicious walnut? Am I good enough to eat it?"

Squirrel Lesson #2: Embrace your worth.

They don't doubt their worth by thinking. "There's probably another squirrel out there smarter than I am, kinder than I am, better looking than I am. Maybe I'll leave it for her."

Squirrel Lesson #3: Relish the moment.

And from what I can tell, they don't decline the nut with the thought of, "Oh sure, there's a walnut here today, but what about tomorrow? What's the point of enjoying this one walnut today when there could be no nut tomorrow, or ever again?"

How often do I question the good things that come my way in life? My family and friends can tell you, I analyze and question EVERYTHING. Ad nauseam!

Maybe I could learn from this squirrel who happily and immediately stuffs her face with the nuts she finds, without question, feeling nothing but happy worthiness and gratitude.

I want to be more like that in life. I want to accept the good that comes my way—happily, and instantly, and truly enjoy it. I can give thanks for it, and I can be grateful. But I don't have to question and doubt it so much. I can also learn to expect more good in my life—to trust that it's coming to me, and to be more open and receptive to it.

Perhaps 2010 could be full of a lot more nuts if I keep thinking this way.

Thank you, momma squirrel! For the lesson in receiving.

Every Day Spirit

2009-12-21T13:06:23-06:00

As I sat in the vet's office holding Tula, I felt tears starting to well.

"God, I can't give up this little dog," I prayed. "She's already been given up twice, and when I rescued her I promised her I would be her forever mommy."

My 10-year-old Miniature Pinscher, Tula, had just been diagnosed with diabetes.

She had been drinking a lot of water and going to the bathroom much more frequently, and I knew something was wrong.

I felt a mixture of things when the blood tests came back confirming diabetes—relief that it wasn't something worse, like kidney failure, but anxiety about how I was going to care for her.

Then the doctor told me she would need TWO daily shots, and that they must be 12 hours apart, without much leeway. And she needed to be fed on a rigorous schedule to maintain her glucose levels.

I didn't know anything about diabetes or how to manage it. I had never had to give my dog a shot! I started thinking about how that was going to work.

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed with fears.

"What if I get a new corporate job and have to work late or travel?"

I live with my cousin Jenny, and she is wonderfully generous about helping out and caring for the dogs when I need her, but I didn't want to burden her on a regular basis. And what if she had to work late?

And if I was truly honest with myself, I was sad for me.

"How am I supposed to have a life and go out with my friends when I have to be home every evening for the shot?" I thought. I was used to a lot of freedom in my schedule.

I immediately felt guilty and selfish for even thinking this. Then I wondered if Tula needed to be with someone else who was home all the time.

"No," I said to myself, "There is no way I'm giving her up. I made a commitment to her. I promised her. She needs me. Plus, I love her so much! She may not be the smartest dog in the world—we often laughed at her ditzy antics—but she's my baby, and she belongs with me."

"God, please help me figure this out," I prayed. "I don't want to lose Tula, but I want what's best for her."

I shared my concerns with the vet's assistant as I paid the bill, and she handed me a card. "This is a pet sitter who is also trained as a nurse," she said. "She can come to your home and give Tula her shot if you have to be away."

"Oh, thank you!" I said. I was starting to feel better, like maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

It's been a few weeks now, and Tula is doing great! She looks and feels so much better—her eyes sparkle again, she's not thirsty all the time, and she has renewed energy. I'm so glad she's going to be with me for many more happy and healthy years.

The shots have become no big deal at all—Tula doesn't even feel them.

Jenny has been wonderful about helping out, and I've even managed to attend a couple of Christmas parties.

As Tula snuggled with me in bed this morning, I told her how much I loved her and what a good girl she was. How could I have ever considered giving her up?

I could care for her, and everything was going to be just fine.

After all, this was a forever love, and I was her forever mommy, just like I promised.

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Send in a prayer for your pet and read our dog blog WOOF!

Every Day Spirit

2009-12-17T09:25:45-06:00

You know, I think I finally am.

This is one of the questions Arielle Ford asks in her book The Soulmate Secret.

For many of us, it's just easier to say we don't even want a relationship rather than admit we are too scared or sad to try again after all our bad experiences.

But if we truly believe we create our own reality, and draw to us everything that happens, then we also have to admit we can choose differently.

And that's good news! Because when we're ready to admit we really DO want love, we can attract it.

So I was really excited to find Arielle's Soulmate Secret which shows you how to prepare to manifest your soulmate using the Law of Attraction and a series of prayers, techniques, visualizations, projects, emotional release processes and manifestation rituals.

I was delighted to find a lot of new information in her book, as well as many success stories. I don't know about you, but I LOVE success stories! They are such hope and faith boosters!

The best story of all is Arielle's. She married for the first time at 44, and really opens her heart about her own process. I have to admit, I'm quite relieved she has found her soulmate—it would be hard to read a book about finding your soulmate from someone who was still single!

Her story is beautiful, informative, enlightening, and oh-so inspiring! She really makes you feel like if she can do it, you can too.

I'm in the middle of the process myself, and I'm getting really enthused and excited about my journey to love!

I do have to tell you, as hope-inducing as all of the information is, there is no escaping doing the work. And it's hard sometimes…and very personal. But I realize now it's the only way to truly be ready to allow love in your life.

Until I really faced my sadness and fears about feeling unloved and unworthy (dating all the way back to adolescence) to the grief of having not one, but two, husbands change their minds about being married, I knew I would make the same choices and attract the same results.

And I had to take a very honest look at my own beliefs and behaviors I've chosen up until this very minute—at the age of 45—so that I can heal and prepare myself for a love that's real, lasting, and yes, BIG!

Two new beliefs I am happy to adopt are that I don't have to earn love—it's a spiritual right to have your perfect partner in your life—and that my life doesn't have to be perfect in every way to have that partner.

Arielle quotes the beautiful words of her favorite poet Rumi:

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Want to join me in lovingly dismantling those barriers? I'll make you a deal—I'll forgive myself for my past choices in love, and you do the same.

Because then we get to do all the fun stuff!

And there's a LOT of fun stuff to do in this book!

Right now I'm working on one of the last steps, which is falling in love with myself. It feels a little funny, but if I want someone else to love me, shouldn't I believe in my own product? I'm actually finding out I'm kind of a cool gal, with some fun things going on—and I can't wait to meet that person out there who is seeking those exact same things.

I accept any and all blessings out there in my commitment to finding love. And I close with Arielle's lovely Daily Prayer. If you're ready for Big Love, say it with me:

"God/Goddess/All That Is, in this moment I am grateful for the healing of my heart of EVERYTHING that would stop me from having my soulmate appear.

In this moment, I remember that my perfect, right partner is magnetizing to me and my only job is to rest in perfect awareness that their heart is already joined with mine as I 'savor the waiting.'

And so it is."

Arielle Ford and her Soulmate Secret can be found at facebook.com/soulmatesecret.

Every Day Spirit

2009-12-11T10:37:22-06:00

Have you ever felt weird or hesitant about being openly spiritual in this life and in this world?

I realized recently that I was definitely coming out as an openly spiritual person.

I recently applied for a corporate job at a health care company, and listed links to my GUIDEPOSTS stories and blogs on my resume. I thought the job would be a great fit, and I certainly felt qualified for it. But I didn't get the job.

I'm proud of the work I do for GUIDEPOSTS and ANGELS ON EARTH. I love the experiences I've had with the writing workshop for the magazine, with my guest filming at the Spiritual Cinema Circle recently, and meeting people at Agape church here in Los Angeles.

But the thought occurred to me—"What if they read my spiritual work and think I'm sappy, or too Pollyanna, or just…weird?"

Then what?

I love all things New Thought and New Age—I love the philosophy of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale—talk about a visionary! His concepts on positive thinking were—and still are—so amazing, so inspiring, and so practical!

But what if I'm heading down a path from which there is no return?

Oprah recently told comedienne Wanda Sykes that she thought—I'm paraphrasing here—the best work and the best success come from living your truth and being who you truly are.

I loved it when she said that, and I believe it.

Ellen DeGeneres was also on her show recently, and talked about being afraid of people not liking her—that she might alienate some people if she was true to herself.

I relate to that, too…I'm also afraid of people not liking me.

But as I get older, and I pursue what truly makes me happy, and what I'm truly passionate about—spirituality—I care less about the approval of others.

That's what I love, and it's what I want to do—to write, to communicate, to share with others our connection to the Divine, and why we're here, and where we're going.

I was recently getting some tests done at my chiropractor, and the two medical professionals administering them were really bright, warm and friendly. They asked me what I did, and asked me about my writing.

"I'm a spiritual writer," I told them.

Silence.

"I write for GUIDEPOSTS and ANGELS ON EARTH magazines, and I write a blog for them."

"Oh…" said the female doctor.

More silence.

Great, I thought, now they think I'm weird.

Maybe they did, and maybe they didn't—I couldn't really know what they were thinking. Just like I don't really know why I didn't get the marketing job at the health care company.

"Well, God," I said in a recent meditation, "I guess I'm just going to have to have a little faith!"

Or a LOT!

There must be a place for me in this world where I can make a living being me and doing what I love.

My work is all over the Internet now, so there's no denying what I do or what I believe, and there's no going back.

It's who I am…and it's who I want to be. Whether or not people like me or whether they approve.

I don't know if you've ever felt that way, but I support you in being you, and in pursuing your passions. I think it's the only way to live!

In the car on the way back to the airport in Denver after filming for the Spiritual Cinema Circle, director, producer and host Stephen Simon said, "George Burns had the secret to a happy life…he summed it up in four words…'Do What You Love.'"

I am inclined to agree with George Burns and Stephen Simon…and I want to thank you for being a part of what I love—this blog, GUIDEPOSTS magazine, the Spiritual Cinema Circle, and this journey we are on together.

So let's make a deal to support each other—you be you, and I'll be me, just the way God made us.

After all, who else are we gonna be?

Every Day Spirit

2009-12-04T10:11:25-06:00

Have you ever complained that movies are too dark, negative, or violent? Have you ever wished there were more spiritually-themed movies out there?

Spiritual Cinema Circle is your answer!

Founded by producer Stephen Simon, the Spiritual Cinema Circle is a membership movie club of entertaining films that inspire love and compassion and connect us with the world around us.

I introduced you to the Circle in my previous blogs, The Circle of Synchronicity and And the Circle and Synchronicities Continues...,and told the story of how I was invited to be a guest member for the filming of the discussions of Volume 2, the February 2010 DVD, which I completed this past week.

What a great honor and pleasure it was!

Organized by Jessie, the charming and energetic member communications coordinator at Gaiam, (SCC's parent company) I was flown to Denver, Colorado, picked up by town car by Rob, their fun and engaging driver, and given a beautiful room in the elegantly rustic Renaissance Hotel this past Tuesday afternoon.

My cousin Laurie, who lives nearby in Colorado Springs, drove two hours just to have dinner with me at the hotel, and it was a special treat to see her, get caught up and tell her about the filming.

In the morning I met Clare Sera and Patrick Brutsche in the lobby—Clare is the writer and director of Pie 'n Burger, a delightful featured short on the November 2009 volume, and Patrick is the guest member for the month of March. We all felt like old friends as we chatted on our way to the filming studio at the company headquarters.

It is such surreal fun to find yourself in a chair, in front of a classic movie makeup mirror surrounded by glowing globes, and have someone give you the star treatment!

"Can you come to my house and do this every day?" I asked Sherrie, the makeup and hair styling artist. I told her about writing for GUIDEPOSTS and ANGELS ON EARTH and gave her the most recent copies of both magazines.

"Oh, GUIDEPOSTS!" she exclaimed, "I loved reading this when I was a kid!"

I had so much fun handing out copies of the magazines and telling the story of how I was invited to the filming.

As we waited for the director and crew to finish getting the set ready, I declined coffee and food—I was way too nervous to eat.

As I excited as I was to be part of this amazing project, I get pretty nervous on camera. I suffer from both stage fright and panic attacks (although they are much better than they used to be) but I force myself to accept these opportunities, because I know overcoming my fears is important for my growth.

I said many prayers that morning to calm my nerves! Just before filming I looked over at Clare.

"Do you think we could say a prayer together?"

Clare and Stephen and I all joined hands and Clare said a beautiful prayer that this filming would touch and inspire others, and that all would go well.

Did it ever!

Stephen and the entire crew and Gaiam team did such a great job of making us feel welcome and comfortable. As soon as the cameras started rolling, and we started talking about all the great movies we'd seen, I felt like I was sitting in my living room, talking about movies with friends.

Stephen made me completely forget about the cameras. He definitely has a gift of putting people at ease with his warmth, easygoing personality, great sense of humor and genuine interest in what you have to say.

When I'm nervous, I make jokes, so we laughed a lot during the filming—especially since the short films are so funny for February. But the films were not only entertaining, they truly touched my heart and inspired me, and I loved talking about them with people who were just as crazy about spirituality and movies as I am.

In fact, when it was over, I didn't want to get out of my seat!

When they filmed my testimonial, I couldn't help but brag about GUIDEPOSTS, ANGELS On EARTH, and the great work they do—spreading stories of hope and inspiration to their subscribers, troops overseas, and serving those in hospitals and prisons.

This experience reminded me of when I was honored to be chosen as a workshopper in 2006, and flown to New York for the week-long writing retreat—thus beginning my writing career for GUIDEPOSTS! The GUIDEPOSTS team also made me feel like a star with their wonderful warmth and generous hospitality. I am so grateful for that experience as well.

What GUIDEPOSTS does in print, the Spiritual Cinema Circle does in film—what a great combination and a source of joy to so many!

I encourage you to sign up for this monthly movie club—you will not be sorry!

You get to keep all the movies, which is great because you'll want to watch many of them more than once, and it's a perfect holiday gift for the film lover on your list.

You will be supporting spiritual filmmakers and helping grow both the industry and the community of those who want uplifting, inspiring movies. And you can laugh along and join the discussions with me, Stephen, Clare and Patrick when you get the February and March 2010 volumes.

Thank you, Spiritual Cinema Circle—working with you was one of the highlights of my life, and I'm so grateful to you all. Keep up the great work—it's so cool to be part of the Circle—and I look forward to next month's movies!

Every Day Spirit

2009-11-24T16:53:59-06:00

Are you grateful for divorce? For job loss? For the things that don't work out the way you planned?

If your answer is "Heck, NO!" I get it! I hear you! And I'm right there with you when those things happen—because that's a normal response, and we must authentically feel and express our emotions.

It's easy to be grateful for the good things in our lives—and I'm certainly thankful for the good in my life. I'm healthy, live in a beautiful place, am blessed by wonderful relationships with family and friends, and enjoy the endless entertainment provided by my two adorable dogs.

But what about the tough stuff?

When I look back on all the things in my life that didn't go as planned, I can see the good that came from them later, and feel tremendous gratitude.

I wasn't happy that my parents divorced when I was young, but I have a brilliant and beautiful younger half-sister, who wouldn't be here otherwise. I'm glad both my parents are happily remarried to their perfect partners. I have empathy and understanding for the complexities of blended families now—and I see how everything worked out for the best.

The events I've kicked and screamed against the most in my life turned out to be the most valuable, and instructional for me—and have all led me to the path I'm on now. I think the key is to figure out the lesson—and go deeper into the reasons why we attract and create these circumstances.

Ownership is big with me—I have recently done some intense work to change a lifelong habit of self-pity for what I haven't received in my life. The more I own my choices, the more I can take my power back to choose better.

And the fewer big, tough lessons I think I'll need to create.

When I really own the past, it helps to heal it. I can understand my choices, and then choose to see the lessons I learned and the growth it brought me.

I am so glad I can relate to others who have had tough times. I want to be able to support and encourage them to keep striving for understanding and ownership, so they too can choose better. Because believe me, I've been there!

And that has led me to gratitude. Gratitude for everything! For the lessons and the learning, and now for a new day to choose better and to do better.

Looking back, a lot of things are clearer—and the love and gratitude is stronger.

I am most grateful to God, the Goddess and All That Is for another day, another chance and the endless supply of love, friendship and support available—and now that I've looked back in gratitude, I'm able to get really excited about what's ahead.

I hope you are too! Happy Thanksgiving, from a friend who's been there and joyfully joins you going forward!